Conversations with my Host Mom

(An add for “Slumdog Millionare” comes on TV)
Vika: Did you see that film in America?
Me: Yeah, it was really good you should watch it. It won an Oscar.
Vika: Yes, especially since I don’t get to see a lot of Indian people in Russia.
Me: .... Yeah….
Vika: Do you see a lot of Indian people in America?
Me: Yeah
Vika: That is good. They seem very happy. (Points to the TV, which shows the last scene where they all dance.)

(My host mom knows very little English, but she knows the word “bread”)
Vika: What is “bread” a nickname for? Why would you call someone bread?
Me: What!?!
Vika: You know “bread” like hleb (bread in Russian)
Me: I really don’t know what you are saying.
Vika: You know, like “Bread” Pitt…Benjamin Buttons.
(Then I understood)

(Watching “The Fifth Element”)
Vika: Did you know that Bruce Willis just got married?
Me: No, but I think this is like the fifth time.
(Pulls out tabloid and shows me a picture with Bruce Willis and a very young woman)
Vika: He is so handsome. I love him, but it is terrible she is so young, just like you.
Me: That’s what celebrities do…
Vika: All of the women in America must be so upset.
Me: … Yeah

(I come back from the banya with wet hair)
Vika: You can’t be outside with wet hair. That is horrible, Mariss (yes she calls me Mariss.)
Marissa: Yeah, I am sorry. I didn’t have time to dry my hair or a hairdryer.
Vika: That is horrible. You can’t do that. Do you know what meningitis is?
Marissa: Yes, but that is a virus. I can only get the cold or flu.
Vika: You get the virus from having wet hair.
(Vika is not a doctor)

(I don’t get to see the news if I don’t wake up early enough so Vika likes to paraphrase for me)
Vika: Obama did something wonderful today.
Me: (excitedly) Really? What?
Vika: I tell you, I like him so much better than Bush. The world is a better place now.
Me: I agree, but what did he do?
Vika: He played tennis with the people who work for him.

(And here is one with Pasha, my host brother)
Vika: Did you know that the man on the first floor has ten cats?
Me: No! Oh my God! That’s why the first floor smells so bad.
Vika: Do you have people like that in America? Crazies? (Ed note: “Crazies” was in English)
Me: Yeah, of course.
Pasha: Yes, but they all live in the South.
(I did not disagree with him)